


Mass Effect - Happy Ending

by Dragoness31



Category: Mass Effect
Genre: Action/Adventure, F/M, Paragon Commander Shepard, Post-Game(s), Romance, Science Fiction, Serious Injuries, Spacer (Mass Effect), Vanguard (Mass Effect), War Hero (Mass Effect)
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-03-07
Updated: 2016-09-22
Packaged: 2018-03-16 17:45:22
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 14
Words: 8,880
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3497195
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dragoness31/pseuds/Dragoness31
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>This is going to be part of a full Mass Effect story starting with the 1st game that is not written yet, it's in the works, it's just hard for me to write at the moment and there is a lot to write. This piece is canon-divergent because of a wonderful thing called the Happy Ending mod, where you don't have the 3 options. You get the destroy effect, but EDI and the Geth live and Shepard gets rescued. Some of this is not even in the mod, but it's what I picture happening in between the bits of the mod you do see.</p>
<p>I am a sucker for a happy ending and after investing all the time I did in 3 games (I loved every minute of it), I want my Shepard to have her happy ending and to get the guy she loves. Hope you enjoy it.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Back on the Normandy Without Shepard

**Author's Note:**

> This is a work in progress, if you see errors, please let me know privately (if that's possible). I am more than happy to correct errors, but I would prefer they not be broadcast to everyone.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> James and Kaidan head to the Medbay after getting injured during the run to the beam. Shepard went on without them and no one knows where she is.

After the launch bay doors closed, James brought Kaidan to the Medbay. He felt bad for Kaidan; everyone knew that he and Shepard were together; now because of an injury, Kaidan wasn't going to be there to make sure she got back. With all she'd done for him, James wanted to be there too. Kaidan didn't say a word and was visibly upset the whole way there.

When they walked into The Medbay, Dr. Chakwas met them at the door and helped get Kaidan seated on one of the beds. Using her Omni-tool, she started applying medi-gel and ran scans to determine the extent of his injuries. She tried talking to him, but he didn't respond. His eyes were downcast and his expression was that of a defeated man.

Dr. Chakwas was worried about him. She was aware of his relationship with Shepard. When she'd been declared dead after the attack on the first Normandy, everyone had been upset. Joker had felt responsible; she'd gone to the bridge to get him off the ship. Kaidan had taken it the hardest. Chakwas had suspected there was something between them back then and it was confirmed when he'd taken her death so hard. The way he looked now was worse than the first time. His injuries were fairly minor and it didn't take long to finish up his treatment.

James had been watching Kaidan while the Doc worked on him and he could see that Kaidan wasn't doing well. He was worried about Shepard too, she's the one who convinced him to join the N7 program and had listened to him when he'd needed to talk. Hell, he’d been her guard when she was accused of war crimes; he’d seen her curled up on her bed having nightmares. He’d also just seen her get them through the Reaper infested streets of London so they could get to the beam and save everyone. Based on her words and her example, James was excited about being part of the N7 program, but now no one knew where Shepard was and he was worried.

Kaidan felt like someone had kicked him in the chest and it had nothing to do with being injured. They had almost won and then that damn Reaper flipped the Mako and he'd gotten injured. Shepard had called the Normandy in for an evac. At first, he'd thought it was for all of them, but when she'd handed him off to James saying, "Here, take him," he knew she was planning to get to the beam alone. He wasn't going to leave her, not again. He closed his eyes as those moments played out in his head:

_"Shepard!"_

_"You gotta get out of here."_

_"Yeah...that's not gonna happen."_

_"Don't argue with me, Kaidan."_

_"Don't leave me behind."_

_"...No matter what happens...know that I love you, always."_

The words echoed in his ears. He'd said the same thing to her and now he had no idea where she was or even if she was alive. Watching her walk away was the worst moment of his life; it was eating him up inside. He heard Dr. Chakwas talking to him, but he didn't want to talk.


	2. Hope that Shepard is alive

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dr. Chakwas patches up James, while EDI gives reports of what's happening, including the opening of the arms of the Crucible. They try to contact Shepard, but there is no reply.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a work in progress, if you see errors, please let me know privately (if that's possible). I am more than happy to correct errors, but I would prefer they not be broadcast to everyone.

As James waited for Doc to finish with Kaidan, he wondered if EDI might have heard anything about Shepard, since she was wired into everything.

"EDI, is there any update on Shepard?" James asked. He shifted positions and winced as he tweaked one of his injuries.

Dr. Chakwas saw his flinch and quickly finished what she was doing to Kaidan, then headed over to him. "You should have mentioned you were in pain, Mr. Vega."

"There is a report that Hammer Squad has been wiped out. Admiral Hackett has announced that someone has made it to the Citadel. There has been no communication from Commander Shepard in spite of that," EDI stated before James could reply to the Doctor.

"Sorry, Doc, didn't think much of it, wasn't really hurting much."

"Common problem with you macho boys," she replied as she applied medi-gel to his wounds.

Kaidan listened to EDI's report. When she said that Hammer Squad was wiped out, he felt like he couldn’t breathe. Then she’d added that someone had made it to the Citadel and he was able to breathe again. Knowing the amazing things that Shepard had accomplished, it was her, but no one had heard from her, which was a bad sign. His chest was tight and he was miserable. If they survived this and the worst happened, he was leaving the Alliance. _It won’t be the same without her, nothing will,_ he thought, a constant ache in his chest.

"The arms of the Citadel are opening. Admiral Hackett has ordered all fleets to defend it," EDI said, breaking the silence in the room.

Kaidan looked up. If Shepard was the one on the Citadel; it meant she was alive. Some of the tightness in his chest let up. Maybe there was still a chance he was going to get her back.

"EDI, patch me through to Shepard," Kaidan said, before anyone else could say anything. He desperately wanted to hear her voice and then he'd know she was alive. The Normandy could send a shuttle to get her and she'd be on her way back to him.

EDI didn't reply at first. "I am unable to raise the Commander, Major Alenko."

"Is there interference?" he asked, hoping it was as simple as that. The alternative was worse; she could be injured and dying, but managed to get the arms opened before she collapsed. His chest tightened up again. There had to be a way to get her back.

Dr. Chakwas quickly finished patching up James. His injuries weren't as bad as they looked; most of the blood had come from a head wound. He had a pretty good gash in his side as well. After Kaidan reacted to EDI's report, she looked at him. Knowing Shepard for as long as she had and having witnessed the miracle she'd managed on the Collector base, Chakwas was certain she was on the Citadel opening the arms. That was the good news. The bad news was there was no contact from her and it concerned her because of what it could mean about Shepard's condition. She was worried that if someone managed to get to her on the Citadel, that it wouldn't be good. The hope she saw in Kaidan's face could be so easily crushed and she was worried what it would do to him. Shepard was her friend and one of the best officers she'd ever served with; she wanted her back too, so she hoped her fears would prove wrong.


	3. Sending a Shuttle to Rescue Shepard

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> EDI starts giving them a play by play of what's happening. They finally manage to hear from Shepard, but it sounds like she's injured. The Crucible is armed and everyone is ordered to get out of the area. Joker and a few other ships disobey that order to rescue Shepard. Kaidan wants to join them and Dr. Chakwas tries to stop him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a work in progress, if you see errors, please let me know privately (if that's possible). I am more than happy to correct errors, but I would prefer they not be broadcast to everyone.

James let Doc work on him. His injuries had just started to hurt, so he hadn't been in a rush to get treatment. He probably hadn't felt the pain because he'd been focusing on the mission, it was how he got through missions when he was injured now that Shepard had shown him how. When EDI gave them the update that the arms of the Citadel were opening, it gave him hope that Shepard was alive. He watched Kaidan as he started trying to contact the Commander.

"There is no interference as we are receiving com signals from the entire fleet," EDI stated.

EDI decided that instead giving a play-by-play, she could relay some of the fleet chatter.

_"That's it, the Crucible has docked,"_ they heard Admiral Hackett say.

Kaidan sat there; the Crucible was docked with the Citadel and so it meant they were going to win, but it didn't feel like a victory to him. There was no word from Shepard and he was worried. This win was going to feel so hollow if she wasn't there to celebrate it and there was nothing he could do. _I feel so helpless…after everything I’ve been a part of, I can’t take care of the one thing I care about most._

EDI was worried about Shepard as well. Without her, EDI wouldn't have evolved the way she had. It was also Shepard who’d encouraged Joker to pursue the relationship with her. EDI was learning a lot from the relationship. She could see through the ships internal monitors how upset Kaidan was and hoped updates would help. Unfortunately she didn't have the one update that would allow everyone to feel better.

The ships external sensors started picking up some really strange readings from the Citadel.

_"Normandy to the Citadel…Please tell me that's you Commander,"_ Joker said.

_"Is that you, Joker?"_

Kaidan's heart nearly stopped, it was her and she was alive. "Shepard!" he yelled just like he had that day on Eden Prime when she’d pushed him out of the way and that damn beacon lifted her up and changed their lives forever.

EDI was only relaying the com signals from the bridge, so Shepard didn't hear him.

They heard some groans as if someone was straining to do something and some scrapping noises.

_"Commander, I'm picking up some strange readings."_

There was a loud groan of pain and then the sound of something heavy hitting metal.

"Shepard," Kaidan whispered, but no one heard him, they were all paying attention to what they were hearing. Kaidan knew she was injured. _I should be there with her, if she doesn’t make it back what the hell am I gonna do,_ he thought. This was worse than the first time.

_"Really strange, like off the damn charts,"_ Joker stated.

All they heard was more groans and the sound of something hitting metal.

_"You need to get out of there…"_ Joker started, but the end of the message was garbled.

They heard more sounds as if someone was straining to do something.

_"Not sure how to…Joker, go!"_ Shepard said slightly breathless. Then there was a loud groan and something big hitting metal again.

"Shepard!" both Kaidan and Joker said at the same time.

There was silence for a few minutes.

_"All fleets, the Crucible is armed, disengage and head to the rendezvous point,"_ Admiral Hackett ordered. _"I repeat, disengage and get the hell out of here."_

There was just silence. Kaidan stood up, but had to lean against the bed at first. "Joker, you can't leave her," he whispered. _If you leave her Joker, I will never forgive you,_ he thought. He knew it wasn't Joker's fault she got spaced. She was one of the most stubborn women in the galaxy and because Joker wouldn’t leave the ship when the order came, she’d gone to get him. Shepard didn’t leave anyone behind. If he had to steal a shuttle, she wasn't going to be left behind.

_"No, we just have to..."_ Joker said.

_"Normandy, this is Captain Fordham of the SSV Noremburg, our vessels would like to stay around and assist,"_ a new voice said over the com.

Kaidan stood there and closed his eyes. They were going to get her and others wanted to help. He opened his eyes when he realized it would take a shuttle to get her. He started to move towards the door.

"Where do you think you're going, Major?" Dr. Chakwas said as she moved to block his path.

"I'm going in the shuttle to get her back."

The ship shook a couple of times and then Joker said, _"Hard on flank, we're going in."_

"Major Alenko, you've been injured and you need to get back on that bed," Dr. Chakwas stated.

"Get out of my way, Doctor," Kaidan replied.

The ship shook a few more times.

"Major, you have not been cleared for duty, you’re staying here."

"I'm not leaving her again," he said, as he pointed at Chakwas, a blue aura starting to build around him as his biotics started to flare.

"Kaidan, there are others who can go get her, you need to stay here."

"Not this time," he said his voice strained and quiet.

The ship shook again.

"Major Alenko, the shuttle is being launched now, you will not be able to join them," EDI said.

"Then I’ll be there in the Shuttle Bay when the shuttle gets back, but I’m not staying here, I have to be there,” he replied, looking up at the intercom in the ceiling.

“Kaidan?” Chakwas said.

“I left her on the Normandy when the Collectors attacked and I lost her. I will be in that shuttle bay when they get back, because I won’t lose her again!” he said, the blue aura getting bigger.

Chakwas went over to the desk and started gathering up some of her gear and then turned back to Kaidan.

“Doctor?”

“When they get back, it’s very likely that I’ll be needed. I’m not going to win the argument with you, so are we going?” she said as she eyed Kaidan’s biotic flare up.

The corner of Kaidan’s mouth lifted in a half-smile and his blue aura began to fade.

Chakwas looked at James. “I suppose you want to come as well, Mr. Vega?”

“Hell ya!”

As Vega and Chakwas talked, Kaidan walked out of the Medbay and headed to the elevator, not willing to wait for them. Chakwas and Vega tried to catch up to him, but he made it into the elevator before they got there, so they had to wait.


	4. Shepard Comes Home

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Everyone waits in the Shuttle Bay for the return of the shuttle. A very wounded Shepard is returned to the Normandy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a work in progress, if you see errors, please let me know privately (if that's possible). I am more than happy to correct errors, but I would prefer they not be broadcast to everyone.

Kaidan didn’t care were anyone else was, all he wanted to do was get to the shuttlebay to be there when she got back. She had to be okay because he didn’t want to live without her. The elevator arrived in the shuttlebay and he stepped out. When he looked up, he saw that Garrus and Tali were holding hands; Liara and EDI were standing next to each other waiting as well. Garrus looked back at him as the sound of his boots on the floor echoed in the bay. They exchanged simple nods. Kaidan moved up to join the line, but took one extra step forward so he was in front of them.

“Kaidan, shouldn’t you be in…”Liara started to ask.

“I belong here.”

No one else argued.

They all just stood there, waiting. The elevator opened again; James and Chakwas joined the group.

The main door at the end of the bay opened and the shuttle flew in. A force field protected those waiting for the shuttle’s return. They all watched it land. Kaidan’s chest felt tight and he swallowed a lump in his throat.

Once the shuttle landed, the hatch opened and an Alliance soldier stepped out. “We found her, but it’s not good,” he said, his face grim. He stepped out of the way and another soldier came out carrying the front of a stretcher.

Chakwas moved up near Kaidan, ready to do whatever would be needed once Shepard was out of the shuttle.

Kaidan felt almost numb. What did the soldier mean, ‘it’s not good’? He watched the stretcher and caught a hint of her red hair. The soldier carrying her was moving very carefully, so it was taking a long time to get it out of the shuttle. As Kaidan watched, her face came into view; there were cuts, blood, and lots of bruises. Kaidan stood there, his chest hurt even more, but he took his lead from Shepard and refused to break down.

Everyone was watching the stretcher. As her upper body came into view, there were several sharp intakes of breath. Her chest armor was charred; there were large cracks in it and blood on it. There was no armor below her right elbow. Her left arm had no armor at all; just the sleeve of her uniform was visible with a hole in it. There were cuts, blood and burns on her arms. No one expected her to look like this.

Kaidan was having a hard time staying calm; he’d never seen her this badly injured and he was scared. Is this what Shepard had felt on Mars when he’d been hurt? It was agony.

As her legs came into view, everyone noticed that the armor on her legs was mostly intact; there were holes in the armor on her upper legs that revealed more cuts and blood.

The soldier holding the front of the stretcher looked behind him at the soldier holding the other end. Together they finished exiting the shuttle, moved over and set the stretcher on some crates. Cortez followed them out of the shuttle looking extremely worried. He joined the line of crew waiting.


	5. Asking Shepard to Fight Like She Always Has.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kaidan gets a good look at Shepard's injuries. He talks to her, asking her not to leave him, to fight like she always has. Dr. Chakwas then starts trying to save her. Kaidan takes charge while Shepard is down.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a work in progress, if you see errors, please let me know privately (if that's possible). I am more than happy to correct errors, but I would prefer they not be broadcast to everyone.

Before anyone else could move, Kaidan had moved over to her. He ran his eyes over her still form, looking for any sign of life. He could see that her chest was moving up and down slightly, so she was breathing. He was numb; Shepard, his Shepard was critically injured and for all he knew she was dying; there almost was nothing he could do. His legs were starting to feel like they were going to give out. Instead of letting that happen, he went down to his knees by the stretcher. He just knelt there, not sure what to do next. She had to make it through this. What could he do? He carefully took her right hand in his, then moved closer to her.

Chakwas moved up behind him and lightly put her hand on his shoulder. “I shouldn’t be doing this, but you’ve got three minutes, then I need to do my job to…save her,” Dr. Chakwas said, her voice breaking up slightly as she finished. Kaidan just nodded; there was nothing he could say.

Chakwas joined the others and along with the soldiers who’d brought her back, they all moved away, giving them privacy. The soldiers weren’t entirely aware of the true nature of the relationship between Kaidan and Shepard, but they took their lead from the others and followed.

Kaidan moved closer to her and with his free hand he gingerly touched her face, as he held the hand he was holding close to his chest. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath. He leaned close to her ear and whispered, “Shepard…I’m here, waiting for you…just like we talked about.” He leaned his forehead against her cheek and closed his eyes, then swallowed the lump in his throat.  He lightly ran his fingers through her hair. “God Meghan, I can’t lose you again…hold on just a little longer, for us, for me…we’re on the Normandy, we won because of you…I’m here…” He was having a hard time going on. He looked at the hand he was holding, then swallowed another lump in this throat and looked at her face again. “I need you Meghan…please don’t leave me…I don’t want to live without you.” He wanted to do something else, but decided against leaning over and kissing her on the lips. Instead, he took the hand he was holding and lightly kissed her palm, letting his lips linger. As he kissed her, he said, “I can’t lose you again, Shepard.”

While he was kissing her hand, he felt her fingers move slightly. He leaned back, startled slightly, and then looked at her face. One corner of her mouth was turned up slightly in what could be a partial smile. “That’s it Meghan, fight your way back to us…to me, like you always have. I love you Meghan Shepard,” he whispered. He kissed her palm again. He just looked at her face, not seeing the cuts and the blood; just woman he loved. He swallowed a lump in his throat. He wanted to stay there, but he knew he couldn’t, there were things to do and he was in command while she was down. He gently set her hand down beside her and after once last glance at her face, stood up.

He turned around and quickly spotted Dr. Chakwas. “Doctor, do whatever you have to do to save her. If you need anything, let me know and I’ll find a way to get it,” he said, his voice steely, but clearly strained.

Chakwas started towards Shepard. When she got to Kaidan, she stopped, put her hand on his shoulder and said, “You know I will, none of us want to lose her, Kaidan.”

They exchanged a quick look before she continued onto Shepard.  She ran scans, applied lots of medi-gel and manually examined Shepard’s wounds. She tried to keep her face neutral, but didn’t succeed. Everyone watching could see that Chakwas didn’t like what she was seeing, but she kept working.

Kaidan watched from a distance. Seeing Shepard so badly hurt was painful and he wanted to do something. He knew if he was over there, he’d only be in the way; it didn’t make him feel any better. He looked back at the others; Garrus, Tali, Liara, EDI, James, Cortez and the soldiers who’d brought her back to him. He took a deep breath, then reached up and rubbed the back of his neck. While Shepard was down, he was in charge and he needed to act like it.


	6. Trying to get back to work

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They put out a call for medical help because saving her might take more than they are capable of on the ship. Kaidan reminds everyone they have a ship to run. People return to their posts and will be the point of contact for news on her condition. Before much can be done, the ship lurches abruptly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a work in progress, if you see errors, please let me know privately (if that's possible). I am more than happy to correct errors, but I would prefer they not be broadcast to everyone.

Before he could say anything, Dr. Chakwas spoke up. “I’m going to stabilize her and do what I can, but this may take more than I can do on the Normandy, Kaidan. We should get word out that we need medical support.”

That wasn’t what Kaidan wanted to hear, but it was a start. “EDI?”

“I’m sending the signal now, Major,” EDI responded.

“Thank you,” he replied, strain in his voice.

“This almost feels like coming back from Mars with you, except Dr. Chakwas wasn’t on board at the time,” Liara said.

Kaidan looked at her. “Was it that bad?”

Liara looked at him. “We took you straight to the Citadel. I tried to do what I could, but I’m no medic. You probably could have done more than I was able to. Shepard…Shepard was not quite herself.”

“I know how that feels,” he whispered as he glanced at Shepard. He took a deep breath, and then looked at the soldiers. “First, I want to thank you for bringing her back to us,” he said, his voice controlled again. They nodded in acknowledgment. “Things are a bit crazy right now, so you might be on the Normandy for a bit. Head to the Crew Deck, get something to eat until we need you.”

“Sir?”

“You did something I don’t think any of us will be able to repay,” he started, trying to control his emotions, “we aren’t fighting, just trying to get clear of whatever comes now that the Crucible has been fired. Go get something to eat, get out of your gear if you need to. At some point, we may need your help again.”

They all nodded, and then headed to the workbench to get out their gear. Cortez followed them and showed them where they could stow their stuff while they were aboard.

He looked at the others. He took another deep breath and fought the urge to look back at Shepard. “Guys, you don’t all need to stay here…” Several of them tried to interrupt; he held up his hand to stop them. “I know we all want to make sure she’s going to be okay,” he said as he glanced back at her, “but we’ve all got a ship to run. Tali, head to engineering…let them know she’s back on board. As soon as there’s news, I’ll relay it through you.”

Tali nodded and then turned to Garrus; they embraced and Garrus kissed her face mask as they said goodbye.

Kaidan envied them, he wanted to embrace Shepard, but he couldn’t. After Tali left, he looked at Garrus. “Garrus, head to the Crew deck, tell them the same thing. All updates on Shepard will be relayed through you.”

“Then I’ll go calibrate the guns…you never know when we might need them,” Garrus said, his voice cracking a little. He then left.

Kaidan looked at James. “James, do you need more time in the Medbay?”

“No Sir, I’ll stay here, help in the armory…just in case.”

Kaidan nodded. “Liara, your people have more advanced medical techniques then we do, right?”

Liara nodded. “I’ll see if I can get any ships here to…”

Before she could finish, the ship lurched abruptly and everyone was knocked off their feet. Crates and supplies fell over as well and people had to roll out of their way.


	7. Rough Ride

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The crew has to deal with a rough ride as they try to ride out the energy released from the Crucible.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a work in progress, if you see errors, please let me know privately (if that's possible). I am more than happy to correct errors, but I would prefer they not be broadcast to everyone.

“EDI, what’s going on?” Kaidan yelled.

“The energy from the Crucible is being transmitted through the Mass Relays. Joker is trying to outrun the blast, but it may not be possible.”

Kaidan quickly looked around as the ride continued to be rough. Everyone was attempting to stand up as they steadied themselves on walls, consoles or support structures. He looked back at Shepard and found that Chakwas had fallen on top of her. He carefully made his way over to them. “Doctor?”

Chakwas managed to right herself, but instead of standing up, she knelt by Shepard. “I’m fine Kaidan.” She then ran a scan of Shepard. “She’s fine…” Kaidan gave her a doubtful look. “…well no worse off them she was a few minutes ago.”

There was another lurch and the ship felt like it was spinning. Alarms started going off throughout the ship. Everyone braced themselves against the nearest stable object. Kaidan stumbled backwards slightly then dropped to his knees. He reached back to wrap his arm around Shepard, so she wouldn’t fall off the board. Were they going to lose another Normandy? There was one thing that wasn’t going to happen this time, Kaidan was not leaving without Shepard.

“EDI, give me a status update,” Kaidan yelled over the alarms.

“The Mass Replay corridor has collapsed. Joker’s trying to stabilize the ship, but it’s going to be a bumpy ride, he says,” EDI replied.

If this were a “regular” emergency, Kaidan would have rolled his eyes and made a moderately sarcastic comment that would have made Shepard smile, but this was not a regular emergency, Chakwas was trying to keep Shepard alive and if the ride got too rough, she might not make it.

Kaidan looked at Shepard and then at Chakwas. “EDI, try to make it up there and help him stabilize the ship. If you guys can’t keep the ride fairly steady, we might lose Shepard.”

“We won’t let that happen. The Commander is the reason we’re all still alive,” EDI said, then stood up.

Kaidan seemed to hesitate, then looked at Liara. “Would you go with her and put out that call for help?”

Liara nodded her head and said, “Of course.”

Liara turned on her barrier and then together she and EDI carefully made their way to the elevator. Kaidan watched them leave.

The ship shook again and Kaidan turned his attention back to keeping Shepard on the board. The lurches and the spinning motion continued. It felt like the ship was out of control. Cargo that hadn’t been secured down was sliding and rolling all over the bay. One of the cargo containers was heading to where Kaidan and Chakwas were kneeled down next to Shepard.

Kaidan saw it coming towards them and had to think fast. He let his biotics flare and attempted to push it away with a hastily made throw. Kaidan wasn’t trying to aim, he just wanted to keep the container away from them. It flew towards were James was and he had to duck.

“Sorry,” Kaidan shouted over the noise.

James just nodded his head, understanding it was an accident.

Another container started to head towards them. This time, Kaidan decided to try a different tactic, he created a barrier around them, making it as strong as he could. The container bounced off the barrier and changed direction.

“Nice work, Major,” Chakwas said.

Normally praise was something he enjoyed, but right now his focus was centered on Shepard. “Doctor, how’s Shepard?” Kaidan asked over the noise.

Chakwas turned her attention to Shepard and ran a few scans.

“Is she stable?” Kaidan asked.

“Not yet…I don’t know if I’m going to be able to do that under these conditions,” she replied.

Kaidan’s chest tightened and his breathing became slightly ragged. “Doctor, don’t tell me we’re going to lose her…not after all we’ve been through,” Kaidan said, his voice strained and filled with concern.

“I’m going to do all I can to prevent that, but she has some major injuries…” The ship lurched again, interrupting her answer. “…several of her implants are damaged…that’s going to slow down…” Chakwas was saying, but the noise around them cut her off.

“Slow down, what?” Kaidan asked, “What implants?”


	8. Contacting an Old Friend

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dr. Chakwas talks about Shepard's implants and how they may be the best way to save her. EDI puts out a call to an expert on those implants.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a work in progress, if you see errors, please let me know privately (if that's possible). I am more than happy to correct errors, but I would prefer they not be broadcast to everyone.

Chakwas looked at him as she realized he hadn’t looked at the file on Project Lazarus and learned what it took to bring Shepard back. “You haven’t looked at the file Kasumi retrieved have you?”

“What file?” Kaidan asked.

“The full file on Project Lazarus.”

Kaidan shifted uncomfortably. He was aware of the file but he was hesitant to look at it. A part of him did want to know why it had taken two years to bring her back, but he was a little afraid of what he would find. Would it make him doubt her again? **_No!_** Nothing was going to do that; she was Shepard, the woman he loved and hoped he’d get to spend the rest of his life with. Besides, those recordings they’d watched in the Cerberus base had explained why she hadn’t contacted him. Hearing that she’d been brain-dead had been hard to take, but he now knew she hadn’t been avoiding him. He wasn’t sure he wanted to know the rest of it; she was his Shepard and he had her back… _Or do I,_ he wondered as he glanced back at her.

“No, I haven’t looked at it. There’s no point; those recordings we found on the Cerberus base were enough,” he replied.

“I knew about the implants…I was constantly checking them while we went after the Collectors. They were the reason Cerberus was able to bring her back, but I didn’t know the full extent of what they were capable of until I looked at that file. If I can’t find a way to repair the damaged implants, pulling her through this is going to be…” she paused. Part of her was afraid it would be impossible to save her, but she couldn’t say that. “…damned near impossible. If I can save her without repairing the implants, her recovery time will be at minimum, three times as long.”

Kaidan didn’t respond right away. He hated Cerberus, but they’d given Shepard back to him and there was no getting around that. The implants sounded like a crucial part of bringing her back to him and now he might lose her again because of them. **_No_** , he thought. There had to be a way around the implants. _Is there a way to get replacement implants,_ he wondered.

“EDI, did you get that?” Kaidan asked.

“Yes Major. I might know someone we can attempt to get a hold of; she’s rather an expert on what it took to bring Shepard back the first time.”

“Miranda,” Kaidan said, more of a statement than a question.

“EDI’s right, Miranda may once have been Cerberus, but I heard she quit and then hung up on the Illusive Man on the Collector base…”

“Wait. What?” Kaidan said, interrupting Chakwas.

“He wanted Shepard to save the Collector base, he claimed it was for research. Miranda told him she quit and then hung up on him, according to the story I heard.”

Kaidan couldn’t help but smile; he wished he’d been there on the Collector base; he should have been there. “Will she help?”

“Shepard also saved her sister, twice. They’ve become friends. Miranda might have some good insight into what we can do about the implants,” Chakwas said.

“EDI, see if you can raise her,” Kaidan ordered.

“Message already sent, I’ll let you know when I receive a reply.”

“Acknowledged.” If Kaidan weren’t so worried about Shepard, his response would have been less tense, but he might be losing her again and his nerves were in bad shape.


	9. Getting the Normandy Under Control

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The ship is finally brought under control and Joker has a crazy idea on how to land her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a work in progress, if you see errors, please let me know privately (if that's possible). I am more than happy to correct errors, but I would prefer they not be broadcast to everyone.

“While we wait for the response, let’s see what I can do in the meantime,” Chakwas said as she started working on Shepard again. She could see the strain on Kaidan’s face; she was a good doctor and always did all she could to save a patient. This patient was more than a regular patient, it was Shepard; her friend and commander, if there was a way to save her, Chakwas intended to find it, they’d already lost her once. Shepard also saved her and the rest of the crew from the Collectors. Chakwas intended to the return the favor, but part of her was worried she’d fail. What would that do to the crew to lose her again? More importantly, what would it do to Kaidan to lose her again? She pushed those thoughts aside and focused on her patient.

The ship was still out of control; the loose cargo was still moving about, so Kaidan was maintaining the barrier around them. He was going to have one hell of a headache, but Shepard was worth it. As he watched her work, he noticed the ship seemed to be stabilizing.

“Joker, what’s our status?” Kaidan shouted.

 _“Almost got my baby…under control…need to land…might be rough_ ,” Joker replied.

The ship almost being under control was a good thing, but a rough landing was not. “Joker,” Kaidan started, “a rough landing could kill Shepard. Find another way?”

There was no response at first. _“I may have an idea, but it’s never been done before,”_ Joker said.

“Do what you have to…Shepard’s life is at stake,” Kaidan said as he looked at Shepard’s face.

 _“Understood,”_ Joker responded.

“Let’s hope you don’t regret that statement, Kaidan,” Chakwas said.

“There’s only one thing that will make me regret it,” he stated as he audibly swallowed, still looking at Shepard.

“My job would be easier if we could get her to the Medbay.”

The ship shook again, reminding them why that wasn’t an option.

“Do what you have to and hope Joker gets us down soon.”

Chakwas just nodded.


	10. Landing the Normandy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Joker lands the Normandy on a cushion of trees made by firing the guns, but it's probably better than trying to land on water.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a work in progress, if you see errors, please let me know privately (if that's possible). I am more than happy to correct errors, but I would prefer they not be broadcast to everyone.

The next several minutes were some of the longest Kaidan, Chakwas, Joker, EDI and the others had ever experienced.

The spinning motion stopped, but the ship was still lurging. It felt like they were descending. There was an abrupt lurch. A few seconds later, the movement of the ship changed. To Kaidan it felt like the guns were firing.

Kaidan’s omni-tool lit up as his comm channel was activated. “Kaidan here.”

“Why are we firing the guns?” Garrus asked.

“I thought I felt them firing…I have no idea, I didn’t order it.” He looked up at the ceiling, “EDI, what’s going on?”

“Joker is using the guns to clear us a path to land,” EDI replied.

“Clear a path through what?” Kaidan asked.

 _“Trees, Sir. This planet is heavily forested. It’s either try to use the water to land or clear a path through the trees. As the Normandy is not designed for water landings, we’re clearing out trees,”_ Joker replied.

“And we’re going to land on trees?” Kaidan asked.

 _“EDI figured out how to shoot the trees down so they form a sort cushion and we’re going to use that to soften the landing, because we don’t have another way to land. Whatever energy the Crucible unleashed has messed up the ship and this is our best chance for a smooth landing,”_ Joker said. “ _My baby’s going to need a lot of paint when we get back, because the trees are going to scratch her up something fierce, but for Shepard I’ll damage the paint.”_

Before he knew what he was saying, Kaidan said, “That’s such a noble sacrifice you’re making, Joker.”

Chakwas gave Kaidan a shocked look.

 _“I know right. Do you think the Alliance or the Council will pay for the new paint?”_ Joker asked, seemingly not bothered by Kaidan’s comment.

“They both owe us…big,” Kaidan replied.

_“No kidding. They probably ought to give all of us one of those metals Shepard’s got. Has anyone ever gotten two of them? It’ll be another first for her won’t it.”_

“I think you’re right, it would be, but Shepard’s good at that,” Kaidan replied, his voice sounded off slightly.

 _“Yup, always trying to make the job look easy,”_ Joker said.

Kaidan glanced up at the ceiling. The job was anything but easy, but when Shepard was involved, it almost seemed easy. All she had to do now was pull through this; she’d come back from worse. _I’m not leaving her side until she wakes up_ ,” he thought.

Chakwas chuckled at their exchange. The Reapers had almost wiped them all out and here they were making light of it. People dealt with life-threatening situations differently and Joker was doing what he did best, making light of it and try to cheer everyone up.

A silence hung after that.

_“So I probably ought to warn you, we are about to try a landing that no one has ever tried before…brace yourselves, we have no idea what to expect.”_

“The sooner you get us down, the sooner Shepard can get to the Medbay,” Kaidan replied, tension in his voice.

 _“Understood.”_ Joker then started talking to the whole ship. _“Everyone be prepared for a rough landing. Hitting the landing strip in 3…2…1.”_

They all felt the impact, but it was softer than crash landings usually are. The ship kept moving forward. Through the bulkhead, they could hear the sound of trees scrapping the hull, but the lurching had stopped and they seemed to be slowing. Finally, all forward movement stopped, then there was an abrupt lurch forward and the ship was completely stopped. 


	11. Getting Shepard to the Medbay

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The ship has landed and they start to make their way to the Medbay with Shepard.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a work in progress, if you see errors, please let me know privately (if that's possible). I am more than happy to correct errors, but I would prefer they not be broadcast to everyone.

No one could tell how long it had taken, most of them had been holding their breath. When the ship stopped they all let it out.

Kaidan quickly looked around. He then looked at Chakwas and together they checked Shepard. She was still far from stable, but now there was time to fix that.

“Joker, status?”

“We’ve landed, as if you can’t tell…the hulls all scratched to hell. We have some structural damage and some other more minor damage as well. Several systems are out, most of that is due to the Crucible firing and not the landing. EDI’s good too,” Joker paused, “The more important question is…how is The Commander.”

Kaidan looked at Chakwas. “We’re going to take her to The Medbay now…are the lifts functional?” Chakwas answered.

“Completely…tell me we aren’t going to…”

“There are no guarantees right now, Jeff, but our chances have improved now that we’ve landed and can get her to The Medbay,” Chakwas said, interrupting him.

Kaidan stood up and moved to the back of the stretcher. He quickly looked around and his gaze stopped on James as he watched him stand up. “Vega, come help us get her to The Medbay.”

James hustled over and went to the front of the stretcher.

Chakwas stood up and then looked at both of them. “You two don’t need to…”

Kaidan shot her a look that instantly told her there was no point to this conversation because he was not going to leave Shepard’s side. She shook her head slightly, but was smirking.

Kaidan and James glanced at each other. Both of them reached for the handles. Kaidan nodded. “1…2…3” On 3, both of them lifted the stretcher. “Lead the way, doctor.”

Chakwas started towards the elevator, on the way she glanced back to see how close they were. They were right behind her. “Oh boys, I’m sure it goes without saying, but try not to jostle her too much.” Kaidan shot her a glare, but didn’t respond, he was too worried about her to think very clearly.

Chakwas called the elevator and they waited. As they stood there, Kaidan kept a close on eye on Shepard for any changes. _If she’d just open her eyes and look at me, I’d know I’m not going to lose her again…I can’t lose her._ He felt a slight tingling in his amp port. It reminded him that he could use his biotics to lift the stretcher and James could stay in the armory.

“Doctor, I could use my biotics to carry the stretcher,” Kaidan suggested.

The elevator arrived. Chakwas walked in, then turned and shot Kaidan her look, making him cringe slightly. “I don’t think so Major. How long has it been since you were making your way through the Reaper forces in London? I still haven’t completely cleared you after your injuries. I never did get a chance to check your amp and you were just using your biotics to hold off that loose cargo. Your biotics are staying off until I clear you to use them, Major. Is that understood?”

“Yes, Ma’am.”

Without further conversation, they followed her into the elevator.

The ride to the Crew Deck was quiet, all the while Kaidan was watching Shepard. When the door opened, there was a crowd gathered. James and Kaidan ignored them. Together they carried her to the Medbay. Chakwas hurried to get in front of them and kept the path clear. Kaidan had to work very hard to ignore the sharp intakes of breath coming from the crew; he had to stay focused. _Get her to The Medbay and she’ll be okay,_ he told himself.


	12. Saving the Commander

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They finally get Shepard to the Medbay. Then the efforts start to save her, first thing is to get the damaged armor off her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a work in progress, if you see errors, please let me know privately (if that's possible). I am more than happy to correct errors, but I would prefer they not be broadcast to everyone.
> 
> Ella lo hará mi amigo - according to Google translate means "She will do it, my friend"

Chakwas lead them into the Med bay and showed them which bed to put her on. They carefully set her down as Chakwas moved around the room. The first thing she did was darken the window so people outside couldn’t see what was happening. She then went over and got cleaned up so she could start working on Shepard.

James headed for the door after setting her down saying, “Ella lo hará mi amigo,” to Kaidan. Kaidan barely heard him, he was hovering by her side, not wanting to leave her.

Chakwas saw him out of the corner of her eye. “Major, you have a ship to run. You are not to use your biotics or do any strenuous activity until I have a chance to fully examine you and check your amp port. Is that clear?”

“Yes, Ma’am,” Kaidan replied not looking at her. He was running his eyes up and down her injured body. His chest hurt; Shepard, the woman he loved, was lying on the table more injured than he’d ever seen her, fighting for her life. He was lost as to what to do; he couldn’t lose her.

Chakwas came up behind him and startled him when she put her hand on his shoulder. “Kaidan…you go take care of the ship and I’ll take care of Shepard.”

Kaidan looked back at her. He hung his head and turned back to Shepard. He leaned close to her ear and closed his eyes. “Shepard…Meghan…I love you…fight for us…please don’t leave me…I can’t lose you again,” he pleaded in a low voice.

He reached up and put his hand on her cheek. “Shepard, you better fight like hell to come back to me because I can’t live without you,” he whispered. He then lightly kissed her lips. He though he felt her lips move slightly against his mouth. He ended the kiss and ran his eyes up and down her face. “Nowhere in your orders did it say you could die…I expect you to follow those orders,” he said his voice breaking up.

He reluctantly stood up. He didn’t want to leave; he was scared to death that if he left her he was going to lose her. A part of him however knew that his lingering was keeping Chakwas from trying to save her. He stepped away from the bed and tried to steel himself so he could take care of the ship.

Without waiting, Chakwas moved in and started working on Shepard. After a minute or so, she glanced at him. “I need to get her out of what’s left of her armor…will you be able to help me with that?”

Kaidan was going to answer, then he thought about what she was really asking; Shepard already looked bad, what would she look like under the armor. Could he handle it? He wasn’t sure. The medic in him reminded him the armor needed to come off to save her and helping take the armor off was a way he could help save her. He closed his eyes and called on his medical training, he needed to be detached. He took a deep breath and opened his eyes then nodded at Chakwas.

“Good, not come help me.”

Kaidan stepped forward and they started taking the damaged armor off. Some of it was so damaged it didn’t want to come off. That didn’t stop Kaidan. As things came off Kaidan had to stop himself from reacting each time some new injury was realized. There was time to react later; the armor needed to be off so she could be saved and that was what mattered; at least that’s what he kept telling himself, but his chest hurt. They eventually got the armor off and tossed it off to the side.

Chakwas looked at him and noticed he looked a little pale. “Thank you, that went much faster with your help. Go, take care of the ship, then find a moment for yourself to deal with this in private. I can do the rest.”

Kaidan looked at her and simply nodded. Chakwas didn’t linger to talk to him, she went back to work pulling off Shepard’s destroyed uniform.

Kaidan turned quickly and slowly headed for the door. Behind him he could hear Chakwas using the built-in scanners on the bed. As he reached the door, he heard her mutter, “Several of her implants…damaged…at least they’re not all dead…”

He reached the door and walked through. A good portion of the crew was gathered in the Mess. Everyone turned and looked at him. He swallowed the lump of his throat.

“Shepard’s here and the best hope for her is in that room working to save her…the only thing we can do for her now is make sure the Normandy is ready for whatever comes. We need to get his ship ready for action; it’s what she would except and we’re going to do it so everything is ready when she wakes up.”

Kaidan first went and got out of his armor then started arranging the repairs on the ship; worked on giving out assignments and arranged schedules. He was seen everywhere on the ship.

His intent was to bury himself in work to keep from thinking about what was happening in the Medbay. It was working to a point, but he couldn’t completely keep his mind off Shepard; how could he when everywhere he went on the ship there was a memory attached to her.


	13. Trying Not to Think About Her

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kaidan checks in with Adams while he tries not to worry about Meghan. Guilt starts to rear it's head as he worries.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a work in progress, if you see errors, please let me know privately (if that's possible). I am more than happy to correct errors, but I would prefer they not be broadcast to everyone.

Before he knew it, a few hours had passed. He’d been avoiding keeping track of the time, but when he found himself in Engineering working on the list of repairs to be made there with Adams, he caught sight of a digital readout. It hit him that he hadn’t heard anything about Shepard’s condition; good or bad; and that concerned him.

Adams must have noticed something was wrong because he asked, “There a problem, Sir?”

Kaidan shook his head and glanced up. “No…” he started to say.

“Worried about the Commander?” Adams asked, interrupting him.

“Am I that obvious?” Kaidan replied back, running his hand through his hair.

“If you weren’t, I’d be letdown. We’re all worried about her, Major. I think everyone on this ship would agree, Shepard is more than just our Commander; she’s a friend, someone we all care about.”

“I’m trying not to think about it, I already lost her once…now I might again,” Kaidan said as he ran his hand through his hair again. “I don’t know is she’s going to live and that scares the hell out of me.”

Kaidan had more emotion whirling through him than he knew what to do with; fear of losing her, lingering guilt for what he said on Horizon and Mars, the responsibility of being in charge of the Normandy and getting her repaired while Shepard was down, fear about his mom and whether she was okay, awe over what Shepard had accomplished, awe over the fact they’d won…

“She’s a fighter, she never gives up without a fight,” Adams said, interrupting Kaidan’s thoughts.

Kaidan looked at him. “She is…” was all he could say back.

“She’s a damn good Alliance Officer, she’ll make Captain for this.”

Kaidan gave him a half smile, but it disappeared as his conversation with her on Horizon replayed itself in his head:

_**Kaidan:** You turned your back on everything we believed_

_You betrayed the Alliance. You betrayed me._

_**Shepard:** Kaidan, you know me. You know I would only_

_do this for the right reason_

_**…**_

_**Kaidan:** You’ve changed, but I still know where my_

_loyalties lie. I’m an Alliance Soldier. Always will be._

_Do I even deserve her,_ he wondered? He reached up and ran his hand over his eyes, then lightly rubbed his temples as he could feel a headache coming on.

“Headache?” Adams asked.


	14. Talking to Adams

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kaidan and Adams talk, Kaidan admits how guilty he feels and Adams tries to reassure him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a work in progress, if you see errors, please let me know privately (if that's possible). I am more than happy to correct errors, but I would prefer they not be broadcast to everyone.

Kaidan lowered his hand and looked at him. “Yeah…there is so much going on my head; so many feelings, so much guilt.”

“What do you have to feel guilty about?”

“Oh I don’t know; leaving her on the Normandy and having her die, leaving her on Earth and her getting so hurt she might not make it, for pulling a gun on her on the Citadel, for doubting her on Mars and before that… Did you know I called her a traitor…” Kaidan looked away, “I called the woman I love a fucking traitor. Shepard has never betrayed the Alliance and I accused her of it.”

A silence hung in the air. “This on Horizon?”

Kaidan just nodded.

“I imagine you’ve apologize since then.” Kaidan nodded again. “Since the two of you are obviously together I take it she forgave you.” Another nod and his head lowered. “Then you just need to forgive yourself. I didn’t join Shepard on the Normandy while it belonged to Cerberus either, I didn’t trust it was her. I should have trusted Karen to know the truth.”

Kaidan looked up at that. Dr. Chakwas, Garrus, Tali, and Joker had all somehow known it was really her. Hell even Liara knew; Wrex as well from the stories he’d heard. He should have known or maybe he’d just been scared.

“So when you left her on the Normandy, why’d you do that,” Adams asked.

“She ordered me to.”

Adams nodded. “And on Earth, why’d you leave then?”

“She told me to… I was injured.”

“Was it an order?”

“No, more like a plea.”

“She wanted you to make it.”

Kaidan closed his eyes. “I want her to make it.”

“On the Citadel, why’d you pulled a gun on her?”

“You don’t know what happened?”

“I heard something about it, but I want you to say it.”

“Cerberus was on the Citadel, they had an assassin coming after the Council, I was protecting them…we were in the elevator, someone landed on top of it, I fired off a few rounds up into the ceiling…the Counselors and I got out of the lift only to find the Evac shuttle destroyed…we were going to head back when we discovered we were followed out of the lift. I drew my gun immediately because I didn’t know it was Meghan…when I saw her I hesitated…Udina accused her of still working for Cerberus…I had my gun aimed at her…she lowered her gun and got the others to do it to, then she asked me to trust her…”

“Did you?”

“I lowered my gun after that, Udina didn’t approve though and I think you know the rest.”

“Was she angry afterwards?”

“No.”

“Then why are you? She wasn’t worried about any of that.”

“I know what I said on Horizon hurt, Mars too.”

“Have you two talked it out?”

“We did at the hospital, a little afterwards.”

“What did she say?”

“That we’re okay.”

“Then don’t feel guilty about all that. It’s easy to worry about all the mistakes you make when things don’t look good. Right now you need to focus on the fact that the best possible person is in there working on her. I know for a fact that Shepard is more than just a patient to Karen, she feels like she owes Shepard her life, which I guess she does.”

“Because of the Collector abduction?”

“A few people were killed during the abduction, but Shepard went after them so fast, that everyone else was recovered alive. Karen feels she owes Shepard everything and if there’s a way to save her, Karen will find it.”

Kaidan nodded. A silence hung between them.


End file.
